Friday, September 25, 2009


I am freshly amazed at the relationship My Small Man and I have.

I have heard stories about how baby animals "imprint" their mother and form a tight and strong relationship with her. How baby animals have also "imprinted" a human rather than their own species, if separated from their species at the crucial bonding stage. This imprinting goes beyond bonding and attachment. It's something deeper.
I never thought about it in a human context but now I know it personally. My Small Man and I have imprinted each other. It's the most incredible thing.

I am all he knows as a mother and he is all I know for a child. For each other there is only the other person. I cannot imagine a child of mine that is not him. Even when I think of a biological child, I can only bring to mind his face, his personality and his character. There is nothing else for me. He is imprinted on me.

And I am all he knows. For a mother figure bringing comfort and nurture there is only me. I should mention that he adores My Big Man and is as comfortable and happy with him as with me! I am talking purely from a mothering point of view. I could not be closer to him if he was my very own DNA and came from my body. For us there is no difference.

The social worker called this week as we are able to begin the final adoption proceedings. Basically a rubber stamp I understand. She asked if we wanted to proceed..... the question took my breath away. To not proceed is inconceivable. Incomprehendable. I can't even bend my mind around the question. I think I laughed as I replied as I didn't know what else to say!

And as My Small Man reached for me again today and wrapped his little arms around me and buried his face in my shoulder, I marvelled. How blessed am I? To have the honour and privilege of loving and nurturing this little person with spirit and soul and personality.

I am utterly besotted and totally imprinted.

apple of my eye signature

1 Comment:

Amy said...

Such a deep love, this nurture-love; this I AM YOUR MOTHER-love, this love that lets its heart take the shape of another to become, like you said, imprinted. Dare I say it, for you it is almost more intense than many other mothers out there. Because for you it is deliberate, dreamed of and certainly destiny has a huge part to play as well. You're an amazing, real and switched-on mummy Sam. Your little guy is surely blessed :) xx